Fun With Rocks

Cats Galore

Here's a short list of the funnier pets on the PAWS website:

Mister Bojangles:

This gentlemanly mister isn't used to being at a shelter and is a bit confused about why he's no longer at home. Who wouldn't be? He doesn't know it, of course, but Mr. B. is the unfortunate victim of career advancement and relocation.

For regular visitors to our website, you may remember "Melkat" (Martin Luther Kat) who spent some time with us last year.

Please click for larger image to see how a window and some sun makes him happy. Could it be your window? Mister Bojangles hopes so.

Poor Mister Bojangles.

Wylie:

This handsome tuxedo is quite an armful, but a very lovable armful and a classic guy.

He's also the largest cat in the world.

Moxie:

It's great to see you back Foxy Moxie!

Moxie looks kind of drunk in every one of those pictures.

Moxie doesn’t have a tail. The veterinarian who performed the operation calls him her “manufactured Manx!” For quite some time, vets thought he had food allergies because he kept biting at the top of his tail. Finally, his current doc diagnosed cauda equina, a rare disorder affecting the bundle of nerve roots at the lower end of the spinal cord. Since his surgery over a year ago, he has been totally fine and has no trouble running, jumping, or doing any other cat activities that require balance.

Rosie:

Looks big and scared, kind of like when Kitty runs in when it starts to thunder.

Noah:

Sometimes when you pet Noah inside his enclosure, he gives you that strange open-mouth look called the "flehmen" look. He's just studying the new smell presented to him, not getting ready to bite your hand off!

Why is it called the 'flehmen' look?

With insatiable curiosity, I wikipedia'd it. It's not just some crazy PAWS word they made up.

Insect Fair

The Grand Opening

Where we left off...

The hospital is swarming with sorority girls.

FAT MAN: Help! I need to see a doctor right away!

HOSPITAL ASSISTANT: Oh god! Nurse, get this woman up to maternity now! This baby isn't going to wait!

FAT MAN: Hey! I'm a man! I just happen to have a little bit of a weight problem.

HOSPITAL ASSISTANT: Oh ... sorry. What can I do for you?

FAT MAN: I think I have a tapeworm.

HOSPITAL ASSISTANT: You think you have a tapeworm ... are you sure?

QIU: (coming in quickly) Of course he has a tapeworm, the poor man! Why, you can tell just by looking at him! You'd better get that taken care of right away.

FAT MAN: You mean right now?

(QIU hurries man onto table and gets his knife ready to cut FAT MAN's stomach. He then starts slicing)

FAT MAN: Ah! Ah! Ow! What the hell! Give me some anesthesia!

QIU: Anesthesia? You didn't say anything about that when you came in! I mean, we have some, but it's going to cost you another three hundred dollars. So, do you want it or not? Make up your mind.

FAT MAN: (just stammers and keeps saying ow)

QIU: Wait a second ... you know, if we just cut out that tapeworm, there's still going to be little worm eggs floating around inside of you. After you get all sewn up, you might have another worm in ten, fifteen days. Do you want me to give you something to take care of the eggs? If you do, it'll be another hundred and fifty dollars.

(HOSPITAL ASSISTANT gives QIU the thumbs-up)

FAT MAN: Well, hmm, I suppose just do whatever you think is right, Doctor.

QIU: (while still operating on FAT MAN) You know, if you would have this operation done over at Mount Nittany, it'd cost you two, three thousand dollars easy. You're lucky you came here first. All we ask in exchange is for you to spread our name around to your friends. We're totally sanitary here at Ritenour. By the way, you should probably stop back tomorrow afternoon so we can see how the healing process is coming along.

FAT MAN: I think I'm going into shock.

Roger is My Hero

I've been reading the ever-sparkling Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2003 and he writes so many critical gems I must post them.

About Sorority Boys:

"The movie contains no wit, only labored gags involving straight men who don't realize they're trying to pick up a man. (I imagine yokels in the audience responding with the Gradually Gathering Guffaw as they catch on. "Hey Jethro! He don't know she's a guy! Haw! Haw! Haw!)"


About Viva Rock Vegas:

"The movie would be no better and no worse without Gazoo, which is a commentary on both Gazoo and the movie, I think."


About Freddy Got Fingered:

"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom on the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."


About Life or Something Like It:

"Someone once said, live every day as if it will be your last. Not just someone once said that. Everyone once said that, over and over again, although Life or Something Like It thinks it's a fresh insight."


About Thomas and the Magic Railroad:

"Very early in Thomas and the Magic Railroad Thomas the Tank Engine and another locomotive are having a conversation. Their eyes roll and we hear voices - but their mouths do not move. No, not at all. This is such an odd effect that I could think of little else during their conversation. In an era when animated dinosaurs roam the earth, ships climb 200-foot walls of water, and Eddie Murphy can play five people in the same scene, is it too much to ask a tank engine to move its lips while speaking?

I think not. Either their mouths should move or their eyes should not roll. Take your pick."