Roger is My Hero

I've been reading the ever-sparkling Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2003 and he writes so many critical gems I must post them.

About Sorority Boys:

"The movie contains no wit, only labored gags involving straight men who don't realize they're trying to pick up a man. (I imagine yokels in the audience responding with the Gradually Gathering Guffaw as they catch on. "Hey Jethro! He don't know she's a guy! Haw! Haw! Haw!)"


About Viva Rock Vegas:

"The movie would be no better and no worse without Gazoo, which is a commentary on both Gazoo and the movie, I think."


About Freddy Got Fingered:

"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom on the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."


About Life or Something Like It:

"Someone once said, live every day as if it will be your last. Not just someone once said that. Everyone once said that, over and over again, although Life or Something Like It thinks it's a fresh insight."


About Thomas and the Magic Railroad:

"Very early in Thomas and the Magic Railroad Thomas the Tank Engine and another locomotive are having a conversation. Their eyes roll and we hear voices - but their mouths do not move. No, not at all. This is such an odd effect that I could think of little else during their conversation. In an era when animated dinosaurs roam the earth, ships climb 200-foot walls of water, and Eddie Murphy can play five people in the same scene, is it too much to ask a tank engine to move its lips while speaking?

I think not. Either their mouths should move or their eyes should not roll. Take your pick."